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Pigtails and the Patriarchy: Where Sex Meets Style
What does it mean to “get dressed up for sex”? This question hits me right at the intersection of my sex-nerdiness and my femme proclivities. It fascinates me. Because, as with so many things...
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My Favorite Sex Toys For Phone Sex
It’s funny how you can be a sex writer for 6+ years and still have so much to learn about so many areas of sex. It’s part of what drew me to this career in the first place: the sense of sexuality as a...
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Prostate Play & Protocol: Recommending Men’s Sex Toys
I love nerding out about D/s with my boyfriend, and one way we do that is by experimenting with protocols together. I’ve told you before about protocols: recurring action-based rules you can negotiate...
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Cocks & Cocktails: Drink Pairings For Sex Toys
One of my Sir’s many talents is having a cocktail recommendation on tap for any occasion. He always orders my drinks when we go out together, and it gives me a feeling much like when he chooses...
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5 Must-Have Props For a Forced-Orgasm Scene
Sometimes you finally act out a fantasy you’ve been dreaming of for years, and it’s disappointing and not at all what you expected. Other times, you try something you never even suspected you’d find...
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Vibe Diaries: My Vital Vibrator Memories
New Year’s Eve 2007. I am 15 years old. Do they even let 15-year-olds into sex shops? I’m panicking and pacing outside my local feminist vibrator vendor. “Do they even let 15-year-olds into sex...
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5 Ways to Play with D/s on a Dinner Date
Doing kink stuff in public is a hotly debated practice. Some say it ropes strangers into your activities without their consent; others say it’s harmless and fine. I fall somewhere in the middle: I...
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8 Fellatio Fears and How to Conquer Them
Blowjobs used to be one of the scariest acts I could imagine, and now they’re one of my favorite things. I’ve come so far (and made so many people come)! As such, I get a lot of emails, tweets, DMs,...
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What Makes a Vibrator “Beginner-Friendly”? (+ Win a Bellesa Vibe!)
As a sex educator and sex toy reviewer, a question I get asked a lot is: “What’s a good vibrator for a beginner?” It’s a deceptively complicated question. Those who ask it often want an easy answer,...
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What’s It Like to Be Little?
“Babygirl” crop top from Delirium Toys Content note for this post: ageplay and Daddy Dom/little girl roleplay between consenting adults; a brief mention of pedophilia. The first time I encountered the...
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Can a Sex Doll Replace a Human?
I’ve been writing about sex toys online for over six years, and in that time, I’ve come up against the same mostly-male, mostly-hetero anxiety countless times: “If my partner gets a sex toy, will it...
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5 Myths About Sex Work
It’s disheartening that sex work is still so stigmatized in 2018, even after the groundbreaking work of so many sex workers’ rights advocates throughout history. Whorephobic language is commonplace in...
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Love and Lust: The Universal Language?
At the top of the Palatino in Rome. Where did the fantasy first arise in my life of having sex with someone who doesn’t speak English and whose language I do not speak? Was it the Love Actually subplot...
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On Being a Sex Doll
Content note: this post deals with consensual objectification and erotic hypnosis. It also mentions dissociation during sex. For many people, sex is about being intensely immersed in the moment....
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How to Flag as Kinky on a Dating Site
Dating while kinky is hard! The majority of people are vanilla (or think they are), so having BDSM proclivities can narrow your dating pool significantly, especially if your kinks are a crucial part...
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5 Quick Tips For Gifting Sex Toys
It’s holiday time, and maybe you’re planning on buying a sex toy for your sweetheart, your best friend, or your mom. (Hey, I don’t know your life.) But let’s face it: the vast majority of people who...
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5 Features I Wish All Dating Apps Had
Dating apps are exhausting. As App Store searches and online reviews here will attest, there are soooo many of them – a surprising amount of which are more gimmicky than functional. I’m dating an app...
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Review: Blush Novelties Avant Pride P1
There have been many debates on my social media timelines recently about objects’ aesthetics versus their usefulness. Some people say, for example, that there’s no reason to keep books once you’ve...
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Sex Sells, Part 1: Selling Nudes
I’ve always loved good-lookin’ nudes. When I was a young(er) pervy little thing, I would creep to the family computer in the dead of night and surf SuicideGirls, GodsGirls, and archives of old Bettie...
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Sex Sells, Part 2: Camming
I log onto Skype. I send a quick “I’m ready when you are!” message to the stranger who paid me a few minutes ago. They call me up, and I put on my best Flirty Face. Maybe my clothes come off; maybe...
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